Domino's Employees of the Year

If you live in New York -- home of the family-owned pizzeria -- and still order from Domino's, especially after seeing this, you deserve to get bird flu. Seriously.

Kristy and Michael shot an entire mini-series of themselves doing nasty gross stuff to the food at Domino's. These two Einsteins then uploaded all the videos to YouTube yesterday.

They really wasted their genius by working at Domino's.

The videos were later taken off of YouTube, but GoodAsYou managed to snag all of them including one of Michael wiping his buttcrack with a sponge and then using it to clean a pan.

Have you always wondered why the pizza from Domino's tasted like greasy buttcrack? Well, now you have your answer.

Apparently, corporate found out about the videos, contacted the franchise in North Carolina and the two were fired. Domino's is also looking into possibly taking legal action against the two.

One of the most disturbing parts in all the videos is when Kristy confesses that she's reading sTori Telling. That explains everything, right?

Click here to see all of their masterpieces.

Now THIS is CLASSY!

Today's celebrity photo is of Popeye's Chicken. This is the hotness right here. It makes people do wrong things for it. A young mother in Jacksonville, FL knows all about the classiness.

The young woman -- let's give her a really CLASSY name, like Marianne (HA!) -- was closing up a Popeye's with her boyfriend when a few dudes in a Pontiac started following them.

Marianne's chicken brings all the boys to the yard!

She says they started shouting at her, "GIVE US THE CHICKEN!"

Aw. I remember in the old days when strange, creepy old men in cars would shout that at my friends and I while we were walking down the street.

Anyway, these guys wanted Marianne's Popeye's Chicken! Marianne kept on walking.

After a few minutes, the dudes sped off. Marianne and her man kept on walking home thinking they were gone, but the dudes reappeared and this time they stepped their game up. They pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot Marianne if she didn't give up the chicken!

Marianne's boyfriend begged them not to shoot her, because she's two months pregnant (said in the best Maury Povich voice: You are NOT the father!). Marianne and her boyfriend got on the floor and that's when the poultry robbers stole her chicken and her purse.

They only took her purse because they probably thought she had some biscuits in there.

The police are currently looking for the chicken thieves.

Dog Saves Little Person

Okay, Hollywood can now stop remaking every classic known to man, because here's an epic original story that's begging to be turned into a silver-screen trilogy. It has everything you need: a lost midget, a chihuahua, a forest, helicopters, friendship and true love! And it happened in real life! Mary-Kate Olsen, call your agent!

It all started when the 45-year-old tiny lady who goes by the name of Beverley Burkitt decided to go for a morning walk with her chihuahua, Pebbles, near the camp site they were staying at in North Wales. Beverley went deep into the forest before realizing she dropped her cell phone somewhere. She also realized she was lost! Instead of getting lost even more, Beverley sat down with Pebbles and waited for help to come. They weren't found until the next morning after a ground team and helicopters were sent out.

3'8" Beverley thanks 7" Pebbles for keeping her safe and warm through the night. She told The Sun, “Pebbles lay across my legs overnight and kept me warm. I was wearing a coat but it wasn’t as warm as Pebbles. I wasn’t too worried as I knew I’d be found sooner or later."

Don't ask me how Beverley got lost in a forest. I was under the impression that little people knew their way around every forest. Like it was a gene they were born with. But thankfully, Pebbles was there. This is why you should bring a chihuahua with you wherever you go. They SAVE lives! Although, something tells me after a few hours Pebbles was starting to look at Beverley like she was a delicious chicken wing.

MUPPET MASSACRE!!

Where was PETA when you really, really needed them?! There's a sack of flour somewhere waiting to unload itself all over this butchery!

The models at Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's fashion show in Paris last night walked down the runway wearing the decapitated heads and hides of our beloved Muppet friends. Even Fozzie. NOT FOZZIE!

The Most Beautiful Cat in the History of the World Since Time Was First Recorded

Everyone, meet Ugly Bat Boy!

This kitty has become a breakout star in his hometown of Exeter, NH, because of his obviously stunning good looks.

Ugly Bat Boy was given as a present to the owner of a veterinary clinic, Dr. Bassett, and since then, people have come in every day to take pictures of him with their cell phones. (The cat, I mean...not the vet...)

Here's a video of Ugly Bat Boy in action!

Recommended Show: Great Depression Cooking With Clara

Well, as we all know, the economy is in a mess...but if you're tired of making soup from ketchup packets and old shoes, you need to tune into Great Depression Cooking with Clara!

Rachael Ray, WHO?

93-year-old Clara is the star of her own YouTube series where she teaches us recipes from the Great Depression. Clara makes everything from cooked bread, pasta with peas, depression breakfast and poorman's meal (below).

Hello, Pinky!

Everyone, say hello to Pinky!

Pinky was first discovered by a charter boat on Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana in 2007. What some scientists are saying is the world's first "pink" Bottlenose dolphin has been spotted again in the same area.

But some scientists say that Pinky is actually an albino dolphin, because he has pink eyes.

You make the call.

Either way, he's a cutie!

Octo-Mommy's TV Debut!

For the first time in my life, I'm speechless.

Nadya Suleman (or Angelina Jolie? You be the judge...) sat down with Ann Curry yesterday. The entire interview will air on Monday morning and Tuesday night on NBC. NBC claims they didn't pay her for the interview (LIARS!) even though there were rumors that Nadya was trying to get $2 million a pop.

On not being able to afford her ten million kids:
“I know I'll be able to afford them when I'm done with my schooling. If I was just sitting down watching TV and not being as determined as I am to succeed and provide a better future for my children, I believe that would be considered, to a certain degree, selfish.”

On why she is the greatest mama in the universe:
“Everything I do, I'll stop my life for them and be present with them. And hold them. And be with them. And how many parents do that? I'm sure there are many that do, but many don't. And that's unfortunate. That is selfish.”

On why she risked carrying 6 embryos instead of just 1 or 2:
“Those are my children, and that’s what was available. It’s a gamble.”

On why she wants an army of babies:
"That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up."

On what she lacked growing up (besides, obviously, a brain):
"I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability. Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional. It was pretty dysfunctional, and whose isn't?”

She should be sitting down with a team of psychiatric professionals, not with Ann Curry.

Does anyone have babies for LOVE anymore?!

Nadya Suleman, the baby addict who popped out 8 babies (she has 6 more at home, for a total of 14 kids!) has hired publicist Joan Killeen to represent her to the media.

This woman needed to hire a nanny and a psychologist, not a publicist!

Joan showed up on Good Morning America today and said Nadya has named all 8 of her babies, but wouldn't give up the names.

Joan wouldn't talk about the rumors that Nadya is getting paid up to $2 million for an interview with Oprah. But she did say that Nadya has gotten hundreds of offers for book deals, TV shows and free stuff from baby companies. Joan went on to say that Nadya is looking "at all the opportunities and choices she has to provide best financial future for her children. She's looking forward to telling the story and setting the record straight. Nadya is a very balanced and together woman. She looks at this as an opportunity from God and she loves children and she's very very excited."

You know, not for anything, but there are people in this country who are STARVING, who would give ANYTHING to feed their children...and here comes this woman who believes she deserves a REWARD for popping out babies at a near-break-neck rate and throwing her parents into foreclosure/bankruptcy. Of course, Nadya doesn't have this little thing called a JOB. Why get a JOB to support yourself and your children when you have corrupt companies willing to let "regular" people starve while she gets it all for FREE?

Seriously, we are all in the wrong business. Baby making is the business to be in. I need to implant 20 embryos in me (preferably fertilized by Christian Bale, I don't care how "crazy" the man is), so I can be the world's first feminist who gave birth to 20 BABIES!!! Duggar who? Pregnant Dude what? Octo-mommy ha?

Kittens on a Roomba!

How CUTE are THEY?!

Don't worry, a KITTEH was not harmed in the making of this masterpiece. One or two might have gotten a case of the dizzies, though.

This YouTube clip should become a full-fledged game show. That's what it feels like I'm watching.

(SPOILER ALERT: I just knew the greyish and white kitten would be the last one on the Roomba. He has determination in his eyes...)

Escaping Criminals Get the Rod

These two have got to win some sort of stupidity award. The video shows criminals in New Zealand attempting escape, only to be taken down... by a light post. The two morons on the run were hindered in their escape when they forgot they were handcuffed together. In a Three Stooges like maneuver, the two shimmied left, the shimmied right, only to find themselves caught around the pole. Apparently they don't know their left from their right. After their embarrassing crash they were apprehended by authorities.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Watch Out for the Zombies!

Think about this. You're driving down the road, when you see a digital road sign. What now? Traffic, construction? Just what I need, another delay. I'm gonna be late.

Wait. What? "Caution. Zombies Ahead?"

Yes, that's right. A few hackers in Austin, Texas reprogrammed these digital signs to warn motorist of imminent doom at the hands of the undead. But apparently, hacking digital road signs is the new practical joke sweeping the nation.

The Zombie warning in Austin is just one of the many practical jokes sweeping the nation. Reports of changed traffic signs have surfaced from San Francisco and Boston. While MIT students could have easily figured out how to hack the Boston area signs, what accounts for actions of the other pranks?

According to i-hacked.com many digital signs are easily reprogrammable. Simply open up the back, enter the password (most of them are default or simplistic) and change the display message to whatever you want.

Easy enough. Of course the hard part is changing the password without being spotted by highway patrol.

The Obesity Virus

Ok, everyone knows that being overweight is the world's leading epidemic. Type II diabetes is the world's number one disease, and according to scientists the world is progressively getting fatter.

That's old news. Here's the scary part. Don't let that guy sitting in the cubicle next to yours sneeze on you. (Yes, I know you're reading this at work. What else would you be doing?) No you won't catch a cold, but you may catch the obesity virus.

According to an English study, one in three people who are carrying around some extra baggage may be suffering from a "highly infectious cold-like virus, known as AD-36."

The study suggests that obesity can be caught by an airborne germ that could be causing obesity around the world. The study found that 33% of overweight adults have contracted the virus at some point in their lives, while the same is true for only 11% of lean adults.

While the research may suggest that being overweight may be cause by a virus, that is no excuse to blame those extra pounds on the virus. Whether the virus is real or not here's the cure.

Get out there and do some physical activity, don't wolf down a Big-Mac for lunch, and eat some fruits and veggies. Pretty simple right? I know it's not easy (I myself was overweight and lost 40 pounds), but you can do it. Trust me.

They WHAT?!?!?!

Watch. Just...watch.
(not necessarily NSFW, but may require some, uh, creativity in explaining it to younglings...)



---

I sort of have to wonder how many Detroiters spit out their morning coffee when they heard this. And shouldn't a "love doctor" have heard of the act in question? (Guess she never saw Chasing Amy...)

So, Doc, THAT'S the secret to a lasting relationship? No wonder mine never worked out...oy.

Why So Classy?: The Wedding Edition

Why don't I ever get invited to classy affairs like these?

Paul and Caragh Brooks decided they should get married at a Taco Bell in Normal, Illinois (the irony!) because their relationship has always been kind of weird and they like spending time there. They met on a dating website while Caragh was living in Australia. And she doesn't even have to change her last name, because she's always been a Brooks.

(*cue the banjos*)

The Taco Bell didn't even close for a couple of hours while the wedding was going on. So while they were exchanging vows about love, customers were ordering Cheesy Beef Gorditas and Apple Empanadas. It's actually kind of fitting.

The bride wore a hot pink $15 dress (SO classy!). They decorated the joint with balloons and streamers(SO classy!). The employees wore hot sauce packets with the words "Will You Marry Me?" on them (SOOOOO CLASSY!). The whole wedding cost around $200.

This still sounds way more luxurious and decadent than any Spears wedding.

Below is a video of this hot mess:



Congratulations to the CLASSY couple!

Scientists say True Love Can Last Lifetime

I'm just as much a fan of romantic cliches as any other cynic. All those fairytale romances are so gushy and overblown it makes me sick. Don't get me wrong, I think true love exists. But does it have to be so drawn out and poorly acted. Give me something real. Thanks to science, all the realists out there have substantial proof that true love does exist.

You may have heard that physical attraction is supposed to die after two years, and that love starts to fade after five. Using brain scans, scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have discovered that a few couples, who have been together over 20 years, respond to each other with as much passion as those in a newly forged romance.

Researchers scanned the brains of the mature couples and then compared the images of new lovers' brains.

The study showed that about 10 percent of the older couples had the same chemical reactions as the young lovers when shown pictures of their paramour.

"The findings go against the traditional view of romance - that it drops off sharply in the first decade - but we are sure it's real," said Arthur Aron, a psychologist at Stony Brook.

New York really IS the toughest city in the world...

Not even jolly ol'Saint Nick is safe from a parking ticket (you know, the cops DO have a ticket quota in the city...).

Santa Claus has added a New York City traffic agent to his naughty list after she gave him a ticket while delivering gifts to children.

Chip Cafiero says he'll fight the $115 ticket he received in Brooklyn on Black Friday when he was dressed as Santa.

The 60-year-old retired schoolteacher was riding a horse-drawn carriage and handing out toys and candy canes. An SUV carrying the toys and protecting the horse from traffic was double parked next to him.

Santa says he yelled "Ho! Ho! Ho!" to get the traffic agent's attention because the SUV wasn't blocking traffic. But in his words, "This grinch just went ahead and fined me."

Local politician Martin Golden calls the parking ticket "ridiculous."

Police won't comment on it.

For The Man Who Has Everything...

...including a few extra pounds.

As we all know, the holiday season is upon us, and leave it to the Japanese to come up with a unique gift for the fat guy who can't afford liposuction.

Behold, The Bro (with apologies to Seinfeld fans)!



I've been staring at this thing for HOURS, and the only witty remarks I can come up with are as follows:
(1) The model they picked for the packaging clearly doesn't need the product. I'm thinking someone like Azamat Bogatov would have worked better.
(2) Only in Japan, folks.
(3) To be a fly on the wall in the airport when the guy wearing this tries to explain "the underwire" to the TSA attendant flailing his wand around...
(4) Only in Japan, folks.
(5) The translation from Japanese is, approximately, as follows:

"Why aren't there men's bras?"
You ask why because there is no need for one?
But for people that think they might want one...
THEY NEED ONE.

(6) Only in Japan, folks.

Whip It Out Wednesday: Steve Guttenberg

NOT SAFE FOR WORK (hell, NOT SAFE FOR LIFE)

Behold, the Police Academy and Three Men and a Baby alum.

Running.
Through Central Park.
With no pants.

No fighting, ladies...

Jurassic Park is Real?

Japanese scientists have produced clones of mice that were dead and frozen for 16 years. Researchers hope the feat will allow them to resurrect previously extinct species, such as the mammoth.

Until now, scientists have only been able to produce clones using cells from live animals. This is how researchers created Dolly the Sheep, the first mammal to be cloned from an adult animal.

Researchers thought that frozen cells were unusable because ice crystals would have damaged the DNA. But the latest research, published in Proceedings for the National Academy of Sciences, shows that scientists may have overcome the obstacle.

Biological researchers in Kobe, Japan used cells from mice that had been frozen at for 16 years at -4 degrees Fahrenheit. The frozen environment is reasonably close to permafrost conditions, where frozen mammoths have been previously found.

Scientists extracted the nucleus and injected it into eggs whose DNA had been removed. Several steps later, the scientists were able to clone the mice.