OH, COME ON ALREADY!!!

If you had even a scintilla of doubt lingering that this woman had even a hint of a functioning brain cell, let this news serve as your salvo.

TMZ says that someone is currently trying to sell OctoCrazy's birth tape for around seven figures. No, the horror show wasn't directed by Eli Roth, but somebody shot that film in the delivery room...with OctoCrazy's blessing.

Seriously, this will make Saw look like The Sound of Music. A blood bath to rival all blood baths.

Folks, let me save you the trouble of what it will look like...


You're welcome.

Octo-Mommy's TV Debut!

For the first time in my life, I'm speechless.

Nadya Suleman (or Angelina Jolie? You be the judge...) sat down with Ann Curry yesterday. The entire interview will air on Monday morning and Tuesday night on NBC. NBC claims they didn't pay her for the interview (LIARS!) even though there were rumors that Nadya was trying to get $2 million a pop.

On not being able to afford her ten million kids:
“I know I'll be able to afford them when I'm done with my schooling. If I was just sitting down watching TV and not being as determined as I am to succeed and provide a better future for my children, I believe that would be considered, to a certain degree, selfish.”

On why she is the greatest mama in the universe:
“Everything I do, I'll stop my life for them and be present with them. And hold them. And be with them. And how many parents do that? I'm sure there are many that do, but many don't. And that's unfortunate. That is selfish.”

On why she risked carrying 6 embryos instead of just 1 or 2:
“Those are my children, and that’s what was available. It’s a gamble.”

On why she wants an army of babies:
"That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up."

On what she lacked growing up (besides, obviously, a brain):
"I didn't feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability. Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional. It was pretty dysfunctional, and whose isn't?”

She should be sitting down with a team of psychiatric professionals, not with Ann Curry.

Does anyone have babies for LOVE anymore?!

Nadya Suleman, the baby addict who popped out 8 babies (she has 6 more at home, for a total of 14 kids!) has hired publicist Joan Killeen to represent her to the media.

This woman needed to hire a nanny and a psychologist, not a publicist!

Joan showed up on Good Morning America today and said Nadya has named all 8 of her babies, but wouldn't give up the names.

Joan wouldn't talk about the rumors that Nadya is getting paid up to $2 million for an interview with Oprah. But she did say that Nadya has gotten hundreds of offers for book deals, TV shows and free stuff from baby companies. Joan went on to say that Nadya is looking "at all the opportunities and choices she has to provide best financial future for her children. She's looking forward to telling the story and setting the record straight. Nadya is a very balanced and together woman. She looks at this as an opportunity from God and she loves children and she's very very excited."

You know, not for anything, but there are people in this country who are STARVING, who would give ANYTHING to feed their children...and here comes this woman who believes she deserves a REWARD for popping out babies at a near-break-neck rate and throwing her parents into foreclosure/bankruptcy. Of course, Nadya doesn't have this little thing called a JOB. Why get a JOB to support yourself and your children when you have corrupt companies willing to let "regular" people starve while she gets it all for FREE?

Seriously, we are all in the wrong business. Baby making is the business to be in. I need to implant 20 embryos in me (preferably fertilized by Christian Bale, I don't care how "crazy" the man is), so I can be the world's first feminist who gave birth to 20 BABIES!!! Duggar who? Pregnant Dude what? Octo-mommy ha?