Portugal. The Man Make TV Debut On "The Daily Habit"

Indie rockers Portugal. The Man will make their television performance debut this Wednesday, April 22 on Fuel TV's "The Daily Habit." Portugal. The Man will perform "People Say," the lead-off track from their brand new album, The Satanic Satanist, due out July 21, and "1989," from 2008's CD, Censored Colors.

Over the course of its three albums, Portugal. The Man has received stellar critical acclaim, including indie-rock bible Alternative Press hailing "Censored Colors" as one of 2008's "10 Essential Albums," and naming P.TM John Baldwin Gourley the "Best Vocalist of 2008."

"The Daily Habit" will air P.TM's episode on Wednesday at 9:00PM ET (6:00PM PT), and will re-air later in the evening at 12:00AM ET (9:00PM PT), and then again on Thursday, April 23 at 2:30PM ET (11:30AM PT) and 5:30PM ET (2:30PM PT). Fuel TV is part of Fox Cable Networks, and seen in more than 26-million U.S. homes.

Portugal. The Man will tour extensively in support of The Satanic Satanist, with dates to include the band's first-ever major festival appearances - Bonnaroo on June 11, Lollapalooza in early August, and San Francisco's Outside Lands Festival on August 28. Currently, the band is breaking in their new show with dates in their native Alaska; a full Spring/Summer itinerary will be announced shortly.

APRIL25 University of Alaska, Fairbanks, AK

MAY1 Club Millennium, Anchorage, AK
MAY2 Mat-Su Resort, Wasilla, AK

No, Sweetie Darling, NO!!!

You can't see me right now, but I am swearing like a sailor on the high seas. We all already know that Fox is going to Hell in a handbasket for obvious reasons, but all the veins Bill O'Reilly has popped in the past, present, and future PALES in comparison to what I'm about to tell you.

Variety says Kristen Johnston is in talks to play Edina Monsoon in the pilot episode of the "American remake" of Absolutely Fabulous. Kristen was at a table read with Fox execs last Friday. Kathryn Hahn was also in the table read, but it's not known what role she helped butcher. I'm guessing Patsy?

You know who should play Edina and Patsy? Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley! And only them! Kristen Johnston is fine, but she's looking a little like a Manhattan tortured wife who eats pills instead of food.

"Well, maybe she will work then?," you naively say?
NO! She won't. Nobody will.

This is going to be the worst show in the history of television. This is what we do in America: we take amazing TV shows from other countries, ruin them, and try to find ways to get them canceled in record time.

(Although Kath & Kim is still breathing and I'm not sure why. I'll have to ask Satan that during our weekly conference call with Ronald Reagan...)

Instead of doing mounds of coke, they are going to get really "zany" on too much Red Bull. Instead of trying to have an orgy and failing, they are going to be humiliated during a speed dating session. It's going to be absolutely rated G...for GARBAGE!

I just want to tell the American version of AbFab to "take a holiday, darling. South of France."

*growls, stomps off*