Why So Classy?: The Rock of Love Edition




It's nice to know that the departure of Miss Why So Classy? January 2009, Nikki La Vida Loka, hasn't stopped the classiness from free-flowing on Rock of Love. And Sunday's episode was yet another fun-filled trash extravaganza! In fact, I'm more than happy to dedicate a whole edition of Why So Classy? to the greatness!

First, Melissa busted her implant when she fell on the ice during a hockey game. (Oy)

Then, Melissa also got caught calling her boyfriend in the middle of the night and telling him she had no respect for Bret Michaels. Captain Obvious also told her man that Bret wears fake hair. Yeah, it was nice of you to join us, Melissa. You're 3 years too late in realizing Bret wears hair produced by Mattel.

In the end, Bret threw Melissa off the show because she talked trash about his bald head. (Yeah, that's always a deal-breaker...it wasn't the shallowness, the implants, the personality of a corpse, or the intellectual capacity of a patch of grass. No -- it was THIS, THIS, the calling-out of the fake hair, that made Bert decide she wasn't the woman of his dreams. *eye roll*)

But the best part of the episode was when Ashley and the other debutantes found out that Brittany had stolen their sweaty socks from the hockey game! Brittany admitted it but said she didn't steal it.

There was never any kind of explanation as to why Brittany stole their grossness, but Brittany is in the porn game, so I figured that nothing was off limits. The debutantes had better check the rest of their stuff, because Brittany probably stole their crusty panties, too. (Yeah, that was gross, but hey...I just report on the news. I don't make it...and YOU KNOW I'm right...)

And if Maria calls herself a "retired model" one more time, I'm going to make her lift up Bret's bandana and stare at his bald head.