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When the moon, after covering herself with darkness as in sorrow, at last throws off the garments of her widowhood, she does not at once expose herself impudently to the public gaze; but for a time remains veiled in a transparent cloud, till she gradually acquires courage to endure the looks and admiration of beholders. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can't bear to have anyone else one. ~Josh Billings



No man sees far; the most see no farther than their noses. ~Thomas Carlyle, "Count Cagliostro," 1833



Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it. ~Santayana, Essays



God has editing rights over our prayers. He will... edit them, correct them, bring them in line with His will and then hand them back to us to be resubmitted. ~Stephen Crotts



You know you live in Phoenix when the cold-water faucet is hotter than the hot-water faucet. ~Author Unknown



Dieting is not a piece of cake. ~Author Unknown



I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. ~Marty Feldman



Here I am trying to live, or rather, I am trying to teach the death within me how to live. ~Jean Cocteau



He that takes medicine and neglects diet, wastes the skill of the physician. ~Chinese Proverb



If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion. ~Ashleigh Brilliant



Depression is rage spread thin. ~George Santayana



"If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't." ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5



Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian. ~Fran Lebowitz



God created sex. Priests created marriage. ~Voltaire



A consumer is a shopper who is sore about something. ~Harold Coffin



Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. ~Ernest Hemingway (Thanks, Schanna)



No man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character. ~John Morley



To silence another, first be silent yourself. ~Latin Proverb



There are defeats more triumphant than victories. ~Michel de Montaigne